hurried scribble from yesterday’s evening walk

a thing i find myself often struggling with is reconciling top-down with bottom-up. it might not be instantly clear what i mean here, so let me elaborate

top-down is high-level, it is the grandiose vision, & an abstract projection of the present into the future. it is exciting & the possibilities are unbounded. top-down is approximate, more instinct based, & generally forms the basis for most pursuits in life

bottom-up (often followed by top-down), is more meticulous. it is grounded in the present, & cares about day-to-day more than the far-fetched future. it is the boring, murky behind the scenes of the top-down & approaches everything with extreme pragmatism

td & bu do not (rather cannot) exist in isolation. they always co-exist, complementing (parallelly) & questioning (orthogonally) one another

the complicated inter-personal dynamics between td & bu, makes living with them so frustrating. it feels like a never-ending play until they converge. the convergence can give rise to a beautiful resonance - vision hugging reality

keeping the mojo up while dealing w td & bu simultaneously is the key. being ruthless about bu and flexible about td is maybe how one can sustain. sustain long-enough to have a shot at that resonance

theoretically all this sounds great, but realising this in reality has been extremely difficult. striking the right balance between zooming out & zooming in is a skill which can only be mastered over time w immense patience

the only way dealing w it gets easier is to see (live) through it

finally, in the words of Fitzgerald:

The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise.